The Wounded Healer

December 15th 2021

“Who can take away suffering without entering it?”

 -Henri J. M. Nouwen

If you’ve found your way to my blog, then I’m sure that by now you’re aware of my interest in astrology. Studying my natal chart over the past few years has opened many doors of understanding for myself and my experiences until this point. The great thing about studying astrology is having the understanding that there will always be more to learn about yourself and the world around you. I have yet to be asked what aspect of my natal chart was the most exciting to uncover, but when I do get this question, I’d go with Chiron without a doubt.

Now that Chiron is finally stationing direct after being in retrograde since July of this year, I figured this would be the perfect time to share some of my knowledge about this placement and the role it plays in our lives. While Chiron has been in retrograde, many of us may have felt called to do the work to find healing in an area of our life where we may have felt significant blockages or obstacles. In astrology Chiron is also known as “The Wounded Healer”. Before I go into more detail about the Chiron placement, I’d like to begin by sharing a little background on the figure this asteroid was named after. Like most of the asteroids we acknowledge in our natal charts, Chiron has a heavy backstory that speaks to the way this placement can be interpreted in your chart.

In ancient Greek mythology, Chiron was a centaur who was a well-known master of medicine and herbal healing. Rather than being violent or wild like most centaurs, Chiron was famously known for his wisdom and teachings.  Chiron was the son of the Titan Cronus and a sea nymph named Philyra, and he was a and mentor to some of the most well-known heroes in Greek mythology. One of his most famous students, Achilles, is said to also be of his lineage. It’s been said that Chiron was a student of Apollo’s, who took the young centaur under his wing and taught him what he knew about medicine, herbs, and healing. This relationship had a great impact on Chiron and influenced him to take talented youth under his wing and mentor them in a similar way. The student/teacher dynamic is a major theme and is heavily associated with the lesson that our natal Chiron placement can teach us.

Chiron, which is represented by a symbol that resembles a skeleton key/letter “k”, and its placement in your natal chart speaks to some of the most important lessons that you will learn during this life cycle. The house that it is placed in might point to an area of your life where you may have faced significant obstacles, and the sign that it is in might represent some of the ways that you might have trouble connecting with the energy of this house. It’s important to keep in mind that the house of your Chiron placement is also the area of your life where you will make a notable impact on others as a teacher or mentor once you are able to work through your own healing. The obstacles you’ve faced and your experiences navigating them can be used as a catalyst to assist others who might be looking for guidance in their own healing journeys. I’ll use myself as an example to better explain this concept.

In my natal chart, Chiron is in the 5th house and is in the sign Leo. We can break this down by thinking about what the 5th house and the sign Leo are associated with.

The 5th house rules the way you express yourself or play, children/your inner child, creativity, and romance or dating.

The 5th house is traditionally ruled by the sign Leo, a fixed fire sign that is ruled by the Sun.

(I want to note that my sun is also in Leo.)

What are some of the traits that we associate with the sign Leo? I immediately think of someone who loves being center stage, the life of the party, the Queen Bee in school, the boss/manager at the office, or someone who is comfortable commanding attention or taking the lead should (i.e. former president Barack Obama, Jennifer Lopez, Lil Uzi Vert, Vivica A. Fox etc.). Even though I’m a Leo, I have never felt connected to any of these personality traits, and whenever I revealed my sun sign to anyone I typically got the same reaction. Surprise.

My Chiron in Leo and in the 5th house manifested in a few different ways for me. I was extremely shy when I was young, I did not like getting attention from strangers, and it was very difficult for me to make friends or connect with other children. Over time I’ve eased out of my shell, but I still have some difficulties taking the lead (although I’m a natural in this position) and putting myself out there in social settings. There is a considerable amount of work that goes into clearing the blockages that have hindered my creative expression and aided in the suppression of my (wink, wink) creative energy (wink, wink). One thing I’ve also learned recently is the more I shy away from the spotlight and tapping into my Leo energy, the more I add onto these blockages.

An important thing to remember is that finding healing doesn’t meant that your work is done. While clearing up these issues might give you the boost you need to reach the next level it’s imperative that you remember the next job you have, which is reaching back to assist others who have similar struggles. The journey of the Wounded Healer from student to teacher is crucial in balancing our karma, and this can only be done by using what we’ve learned through self healing as a way to guide others through mentoring and sharing what you’ve learned throughout your healing process.

Have you identified your natal Chiron placement? If you know that date, time, and location of your birth, I encourage you to search for a natal chart calculator online and learn more about your Chiron placement. If you’re interested in delving more into your Chiron placement and its meaning in relation to the rest of your natal placements, feel free to reach out and book a General Natal Chart Analysis and we could uncover this together and figure out the best plan of action for your healing.

Journal IV: Discipline December

November 30th 2021 

“Where attention goes, energy flows.”

-James Redfield

Salutations and happy Sagittarius season!

Sag season is a season of expansion and calling in abundance. In the spirit of Sag season, wouldn’t it be a good time to find new ways to take ourselves further in pursuit of our goals?

As we approach the final month of the year, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’d like to wrap up the year and how I’d like to set the tone for 2022. This past weekend I did some reflecting on some of the ways that we can be our own worst enemies at times. That night, there was one aspect of my night time routine in particular that triggered my desire to challenge myself and become more disciplined. Moisturizing and braiding my hair.

Since I was a little girl my head full of thick 4a/b hair has turned heads and gotten compliments from just about anyone. I’m thankful for it, but taming it has always been a struggle. For my birthday last summer I decided to switch things up and go for a dimensional blonde balayage. I had a consultation with my stylist prior to my appointment to discuss my vision and she was down, as long as I was aware of and committed to the level of maintenance it would take to maintain healthy hair after bleaching. We had a similar conversation while she was applying the color, and I agreed, again, that I would do what I needed to do to make sure my hair was well taken care of. Since then, I’ve been on top of my bi-weekly washes, deep conditioning, steam treatments, and thrice weekly moisturizing. I trimmed my ends last week (I honestly surprised myself with how good of a job I did) and while I was braiding my hair up that night, I had a realization. Since I started taking better care of my hair, my hair is suddenly way more manageable!     My next thought was:

Duh, Kayla. Of course Penelope’s behavior has improved since you started taking better care of her (yes, I named my hair Penelope). She was malnourished and angry!

This is what got me to thinking about discipline in general. Discipline yields results, and as long as you’re consistent and focused on doing the work, you’re sure to get results; especially during the season of abundance and expansion.

It won’t be easy, but I’m determined to improve spiritually, physically, and professionally to take that last leap into the season I’ve been transitioning into. I invite whoever is reading this to join me in putting in the work to be more disciplined this December and watch the blessings roll in! Instead of seeing this as a daunting challenge, try looking at it as a way to sharpen yourself, even if it’s something as mundane as following a more strict routine or increasing your water or veggie intake. The key is to take things one day at a time, and keep your eyes on the goal you have in mind. Let’s wrap 2021 up with a bow and step into 2022 in a more goal-oriented and results-driven frame of mind.

Journal III: 28 Update

November 19th, 2021

Life can be a drag, 

my days are good and bad, 

but I’m feeling more secure in myself than I ever have.

Here are 4 of the biggest shifts I’ve felt since I turned 28.

1.    More confidence in myself and what I have to offer.

My early-mid-twenties was a very trying time. There’s a level of uncertainty that comes with navigating adulthood that I’m sure we all face at some point. After doing lots of journaling and reflecting on what brought me here, I’m more self-assured than I’ve ever been. 

2.    Less pressure to go out for the sake of being social.

Listen, I identify as a friendly introvert, and the pressure I felt to be outgoing and put myself out there so that people wouldn’t get the wrong idea about me was so heavy that it literally gave me headaches. My friends are my friends and I know they love and support me. Now that I’m more grounded in myself, I realized that I don’t have to perform for anyone anymore and I feel free.

 3.    Aged out of the target audience for bull crap.

Let’s take a minute to reflect on the manipulative and relentless terror that is marketing emails. Now that I’ve aged out of the target market group of 18-25 (and again, because of this new sense of mature confidence) a lot of these companies don’t have the pull on me that they used to. I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but at this age you also start having more conversations about considering a minimalist lifestyle.

 4.    Defining myself, then being myself. 

I’ve always had an idea of who I was and the kind of person I wanted to be. I’ve gone through so many re-brands and transformations that I stopped keeping tabs on what I truly wanted out of life and began feeling stagnant. The big difference this time around is my understanding that without doing the work and remaining consistent, none of my desires will find me. 

I think it’s also worth mentioning that around this age we reach our first adulthood Saturn return. It doesn’t take much research to understand that this is a trying time for many people. Some people change directions completely and find themselves back at square one. This is a difficult transition to make, but you’ll most likely find yourself on your true path once you reach the other side of your Saturn return at some point in your early 30’s.

 I did some journaling on this topic on my birthday this past summer, and since then my feelings haven’t changed. If anything, I feel even more affirmed about my insights. If you’re close to 28 and feel like you’re still in the woods or you haven’t quite felt some of the shifts I outlined, then it could be that you have a little more learning to do, but I can assure you they’re coming.

Journal II: Mercury Retrograde in Gemini 2021

July 9th, 2021

Well, everyone, we are finally out of the woods.

Mercury went retrograde for the second time this year on May 29th. Those of us who are aware of the upheavals that can take place during a planet’s retrograde period have been waiting with bated breath, jaws clenched, and gritted teeth for this one to pass.

Similar to humans, the planets have their periods of restfulness. When a planet goes retrograde, this simply means that the planet’s orbit slows down to a creep. So slow, that it appears to be moving backwards in relation to the planets that are still orbiting and rotating at their normal speed. One of the most discussed retrograde periods is that of Mercury, known for being the planet of technology and communication. When Mercury goes retrograde we’re inclined to deal with more miscommunications and mishaps than usual; it can be a very high stress time for many of us.

I heard a collective sigh as the weight of this retrograde period was lifted from our shoulders once Mercury stationed direct on June 22nd; but I didn’t want to be too quick to put all that happened during this retrograde period behind me, so I decided to try something a little different during this retrograde shadow period. I set aside time to take inventory and reflect on some of the challenges I faced, and I’ve decided to give any readers out there a brief rundown of my experience.

After reflecting on the clusterf*ck that was this Mercury retrograde in Gemini, the theme I noticed was the importance of staying grounded in myself. There was a lot going on around me, and at times I felt as though I was standing in the eye of the storm, patiently waiting for the chaos to subside. I didn’t notice any negative effects initially, but after giving it a little more thought I realized that this had actually been an energetically draining time for me. One thing that helped me feel present and in-tune with my body (and out of other people’s problems) during this time was grounding myself both spiritually and physically.

Grounding yourself requires the kind of work and intention that will push you to dig deeper and go a little further than some of the more typical and popularized practices (like meditating with your heart shaped love quartz or burning sage). I’m talking daily (and sometimes twice daily) prayer, energy clearing sessions, meditations, and journaling.

What was unique about this time around was that I definitely found myself using more grounding techniques for my physical body instead of focusing solely on my spiritual health. Giving myself massages, moisturizing as much of my body as I can reach, and practicing yoga or stretching assisted in nurturing my body as well as releasing some of the built up tension I had been picking up from my environment.

The tricky thing about being energetically sensitive - is that sensitivity not being exclusive to feeling other people’s feelings. If you find that you: Suddenly feel off balance, are experiencing more headaches or random aches and pains, are having a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep, feel the need to be alone more than usual, or are having difficulties focusing or completing tasks…you might want to consider that some outward influence (that shouldn’t be attached to you) may have invaded your bubble.

As I look back on this experience, I can understand the importance of a daily routine to keep yourself grounded, especially during retrograde periods. We may have awareness of how to navigate times like this for ourselves, but carrying the energy of our environment or the collective can slow us down and bog our minds if we aren’t being mindful.

Now that we’re finally out of the retrograde and retrograde shadow period, I encourage whoever happens to be reading this to do their own journaling and take inventory of their experiences and energy over the past 6 weeks or so. Make an attempt to unpack and release if you need to. What did this Mercury in retrograde period teach you?

Journal I : How to break a curse

February 7th, 2021

I had a dream last night that I broke a curse. In this dream I had an awareness of things that were happening, had already happened, and things that were about to take place. It was as if I had lived through that exact day or had all of these experiences already, but with only negative results. One noticeable difference this time around was that I was floating through the day. It was as if I was gliding from one experience to the next, knowing what was going to happen and having positive results each time. In this dream my feet literally never touched the ground.

I now realize that what I felt was me being intuitively guided and allowing myself to operate in peace, because I already knew what the outcome(s) would be. The right answers were clearly written for me. Every task that I set out to complete was done effortlessly, and each time things played out in my favor. It felt amazing.

As I reflect on what I saw, felt, and experienced in this dream, I now understand that this was a divine message. A reminder that there is absolutely nothing to be fearful of. The experiences in this dream could be representative of obstacles I may have had in past lives, or some of the trials I’ve faced in this life, but the overall message confirmed that I have the power to conquer obstacles and end karmic cycles (or clear my akashic record; I’ll be sharing more on this later).

Before I fell asleep and had this dream, I had a conversation with my sister and shared how fearful and stagnant I had been feeling lately, and she gave some really good advice on ways to follow through with ideas in a more productive way. Ways to ground myself, how to be more present and intentional about how I spend my time, etc., and before I fell asleep, I also made sure to journal all of this. Journaling and prayer (or speaking to God or my angels/guides out loud) have always been the most effective method for me to receive whatever answers I may be seeking. It’s no coincidence that I had such a clear message come through after having these discussions with my sister and with God.

I woke up and marinated on all that I experienced within the dreamspace, and the idea of me breaking a curse kept replaying in my mind. I wrote a new mantra/affirmation based on the message that came to me, and I’m here to share this affirmation.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Feel free to repeat the following mantra/affirmations during your morning routine, while cleansing your space, after journaling, or during any manifestation ritual(s).

MY MIND IS CLEAR

I AM AN INTELLIGENT, INNOVATIVE, CREATIVE GENIUS.

I AM POWERFUL.

I HAVE THE POWER TO BREAK CURSES AND CREATE NEW REALITIES.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Major takeaways:

· Messages come through much more clearly when you’re well rested or resting.

· The power of the pen and power of the tongue are truly unmatched.